Here's an intelligent post on jargon, courtesy of a copywriting friend of mine who recalls painful memories of working for charities where interminable meetings - and jargon - sapped his will to live.Take a look at that list of words that public sector officials should avoid using. Incredible. I am sure they still use these, all the time. It slightly reminds me of a fridge magnet poetry set.
So here goes...
My first (and quite possibly only) attempt at Local Government Poetry:
Headroom for change
Client or engaging user?
Who blinks first?
It's a deep dive
Bottom-up, brain dump.
Anyone else up for a go? I am quite sure you could do better!
Best wishes,
Claire
(Publisher)
chiropractic westchester on March 19, 2010
It is said that courtesy costs nothing but brings a lot. One can easily win the heart of others by being courteous.
Stephen Mcdaid on March 19, 2010
I'm not very good at poetry but I can translate business bafflegab:
"The company's growth has been meteoric and Worldcom has established itself as the most dynamic player in the market. Essential to achieving continued success is the recruitment of high quality people and two new fabulous opportunities have been created to play a key part in Worldcom's expansion."
(Due to continued expansion, Worldcom needs to recruit two good people).
Claire Fogg on March 29, 2010
Hi stef.nalton - you certainly have a knack for translating jargon. I know which version I prefer!
Your example reminds me of some of the content on the Plain English Campaign website. You might 'enjoy' reading its Golden Bull winners.
Stephen Mcdaid on March 30, 2010
Hi Claire, I had a look at the previous years' winners; here is one I like:
Lloyds Pharmacy: for a letter of apology (in part below)concerning an assistant dispensing the wrong tablet, and the pharmacist not noticing the error:
'...The cognitive process that staff will go through when interpreting prescriptions and selecting drugs is almost intuitive in that the prescription will be read, a decision is then made in the mind of the individual concerned, they will then make a selection based on what they have decided.
'When an error is made either mentally or in the physical selection process it is difficult for the individual concerned to detect their own error because in their own mind they have made the correct selection.'
(Everyone makes mistakes).
Xean Puccio on March 31, 2010
Claire, seems no one’s taking the challenge. Don’t tell me it’s up to me to humbly uphold the honor of imagination and its great legacy of literary achievement. Oh well, if I must.
Stef, interesting...but how about something a little more creative, like a limerick (could also be a tongue-twister):
The Good Advocate
An advocate of autonomous actioned agencies,
Thought their capacity exceeded their capabilities.
So enabling exemplar econometric empowerment,
It iterated interdepartmental interface improvement,
Promulgating a proportionality of partnership potentialities.
Or, heard the story of the mayor whose wife slept with her husband’s competitors to help him win his campaign (it’s not an original idea; but the limerick is.):
The Mayor
A mayor who married in Mayabelle city,
Was seen as a Predictor of Beaconicity.
For his network model of engagement,
Enhanced the comprehensive area assessment,
With consensual embedded interactivity.