Ok, I’m putting my neck on the line here and naming the most common pitfalls I have seen emerging talents fall into. In today’s blog, I baldly name and shame what I would happily never encounter again:
- An entire chapter revolving around a character walking or driving from A-B alone, interspersed by long passages of back story.
- An entire chapter set around
a character in bed/in nature/alone reminiscing. - Melodramatic chapter cliff hangers. Your story is either engrossing or not. A pining character is not the answer.
- Making the same point in ten different ways –all on the same page.
- Belabouring the point. [See above]
- Describing objects/landscapes/surroundings in miniscule detail over countless pages. Poetry is a gift not a licence.
And I can say all this because, early on as a writer, I have been guilty of most of the above. Ok, who am I kidding? I have been guilty of all of the above at one time or another. And so, today, I invite you to kill off your darlings publicly. Copy and paste them in the comment section of Writers & Artists and, like sealing an envelope, let it go. If the piece is that good, someone will surely encourage you to put it back in.
I’ll begin...
“Retreating to the cabin’s bedroom in the cool peach light of mid-afternoon, Dorothy felt the contours of Katy’s lumpy rucksack one last time before sliding it under the wooden frame of the bed. She had discerned the outline of several boot heels inside, an oversized toiletries bag, and then the corner of something hard and rectangular. Could this be what she was looking for? But the more her fingers had shaped the outline of the item, the more convinced she grew that it was simply a hardback novel. A journal would have a more supple cover. She didn’t dare go into the bag though. There were some answers she wasn’t ready for yet.
Shivering, she plugged in the electric heater, in the corner of the room, and turned the nozzle as high as it would go. Removing her shoes, but keeping her socks on, she shuffled down under the crisp, lemon sheets, massaging her bad hip with one hand. The cold always made it ache more. It was 3 o’clock. The funeral wasn’t until tomorrow lunchtime. Twenty two hours. Only twenty two more hours to stay strong. She picked up a worn-looking crime paperback from the bedside cabinet, and was ...”
Signing Off,
Nicola
(Editorial Manager)
Cressida Downing on December 23, 2010
One of my pet hates is clever-clever writing, where an author has come up with a phrase and stopped, patted themselves on the back, and gone on writing with a smug smile.
Again - this is a personal failure too - when writing a short-lived supernatural novel as a teenager - with a friend (your identity is safe - I won't reveal you!), we were inordinately proud of our little descriptive phrase 'the cutlery waiting in the sink.'
The cutlery was doomed to wait as we never got beyond chapter two.
Cressida
exproggo on December 23, 2010
They sat in wooden-panelled alehouses discussing the downfall of their absent friend, denouncing him with poisoned tongues and malevolent accusation. The steady bickering accompanied the regulated sinking of the liquor and their malice for Andy soon filled the gap that he had left. The jilted drinkers would see him walking through the streets every now and again armed with a floral bouquet or a box of chocolates for his new love and true love. He would smile and wave as if he had not a stress in the world and they would return his greetings…but with lips of falsehood and hypocritical hands.
Neil Ansell on December 23, 2010
I will have to hold my hand up to at least a couple of these I'm afraid.
In the editing process I was asked to cut the wordcount of my book by about 10%. It felt like literary slash and burn to delete great swathes of writing that I had slaved over for hours, but I have to admit that the end result was leaner and more focussed.
I can't offer a deleted extract as I consigned it all to the recycling bin of no return but here is a chapter title that got red-lined for veering perilously close to cliche - Still Point in a Shifting World
Victoria on December 29, 2010
I'm a little new to writing, but dreamed to be published. Does anyone have any idea where I can get a proffesional look on my manuscript, and they'll give me pointers on how to improve? It would be really appreciated.
Xean Puccio on December 29, 2010
Hello Nicola,
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas…
Either I missed doing any of those six in a work or I can’t tell, but I’m unable to find any examples in my work with them. I do write sloppily though in unfinished drafts and story development, where anything goes. Below is an example of that, from a chapter first draft of a fiction book I’m working on. I know instinctively it’s not right. Can anyone identify the reasons why? Nicola, can you tell? If not, I’ll explain the main things which I believe don’t make this a quality piece of writing.