Can you imagine this scene clearly?

by Robert Gill
28th February 2013

Hi all. I've just posted an excerpt from a chapter of my novel, "Missing: The Sleeping King". It's unedited and has more or less just been written. I was wondering if you can actually picture the scene clearly, or whether I need to pad it out a bit more. Any and all feedback would be most welcome. Best wishes, Rob.

Replies

Hi Robert,

Left you feed back. I like it.

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damien
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damien Isaak
28/02/2013

Thanks Elizabeth. Your comments are much appreciated. I realised while I was cooking dinner just now that I need to tweak one part to add more realism. (In the real Roman Baths at Bath, they would have to walk upside-down before reaching the down wall). Unusually though, for an unedited scene I'm mostly happy with the concept and now the portrayal of it. Once again, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this - it's much appreciated. Best wishes, Rob.

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Robert
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Robert Gill
28/02/2013

Hi Robert, just read it and yes you can picture it. Don't think you need to pad it out just for the sake of it as reads well as is. Interesting excerpt.

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Elizabeth
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Elizabeth Frattaroli
28/02/2013