Confused

Every writer feels like you, Lisa: we alternate between being absolutely certain of the brilliance of our talents, and absolutely certain that they're crap. If you're lucky, one day you look at your work and you think, 'This has merit.'

It's partly because being a writer is one of those jobs that you can't delegate. You're it. You're the creator, and the one who stands in the way of your creativity. You're the genius and the dummy. It's a lonely job to pursue; but if you want to write, just write. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it, or whether the spelling's idiosyncratic, or your punctuation is wrong (or missing!) - most of that can be put right later. If it gives you pleasure and heartache in equal measures, you're still meant to do it. Who else can write what's inside your head? Your voice is unique.

So don't sit there thinking, 'Why bother? I'm useless anyway.' How will you ever know unless you try?

Dear Lisa,

As one who was Regional Champion (for Asia) of low self-esteem as a child/adolescent (too much a coward to carry out daydreams of suicide), let me offer you this ray of light: I believe that it's made me a better person... and a better writer.

A writer who doesn't care about the underdog is not worth shit. (Even if some of them DO become best-sellers: we're not talking about quantity here, we're talking about quality.)

This does NOT mean "splash self-pity all over the page". But you can use your insider knowledge of low self-esteem to convince readers that you can look inside their souls and speak for them.

There are more of you out there than you might think.

Lisa, PLEASE read the following story. Read ALL of it without peeking at the end. But then pay special attention to that last short column. THAT's my message to you, in perhaps the best form that I've ever seen it:

http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/the-kid-nobody-could-handle-by-kurt-vonnegut-jr-SEP.pdf

I believe all authors have crises of confidence. Many famous authors admit to it. I would hate to be a confident author. Its the uncertainty of whether I have got things right, and going n the right direction, that makes me strive so hard to ensure my manuscript is not full of errors.

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand - George Orwell

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master - Ernest Hemingway