Cover letter and synopsis

A few weeks ago I shared the first chapter of my novel on here and received some really useful feedback. I've made some revisions and am now more or less ready to submit. But before I do, I'd love to hear members' thoughts on my cover letter and/or synopsis, both posted below. I'd also be interested in views on whether "Checks and Balances" works as a title.

And hopefully once I've submitted this to a few agents, I'll have time to comment on other people's work too, instead of just cheekily asking for thoughts on mine...

Thanks, Georgiana

COVER LETTER

Dear X

Some call the First Lord, who took power through violence and keeps it with terror, a monster. I call him my beloved husband. Traitors say our government is a dictatorship driving Britain into dystopia. I say we've changed the country for the better.

I’m seeking representation for my novel, Checks and Balances, a political thriller with dystopian elements and an “anti-heroine” narrator. It’s told through the eyes of the scheming wife of a British dictator in the idealistic run-up to and brutal aftermath of a military coup in the UK – think Gone Girl meets 1984 with hints of House of Cards.

June 2035. Britain labours under the totalitarian regime of the First Lord, Julien St John Helmsley, the man who led a coup against the Government and made himself a king.

The only people standing between Julien and despotism are the Treaty, a once powerful band of rebels whom the Regime have crushed by air strikes, informants, and repression. But now David, the leader of the Treaty, has a plan. He’ll send in his mistress, Marianne. She’ll seduce the First Lord, expose his secrets, and assassinate him in the throes of passion.

Marianne is only too ready to go to the palace. But she has a secret. The Treaty think they managed to kill the First Lord’s wife tyrannical wife years ago – in fact, she’s been hiding amongst them all this time.

Finally given some freedom by David, Marianne intends to make it to York, reveal her true identity and throw herself on the mercy of the garrison leader. Instead, she’s captured and tortured by soldiers of the regime, until the First Lord himself recognises his beloved wife and welcomes her back into the fold. But can she learn to be the First Lady again, and where do her loyalties truly lie?

I love dystopian fiction, but it’s always been the villains that fascinate me. I tend to wonder how and why they bent a country to their will and earned the hatred of the freedom-fighting heroes. Surely, no one ever decides they want to take over a country purely to make the people suffer. Surely, they started out with the best of intentions.

Checks and Balances explores this concept and considers how these good intentions can turn to bad realities. It’s been heavily influenced both by my university history thesis, on the behind-the-scenes influence women were able to play in UK politics in the nineteenth century, and by my professional life as a civil servant working at the heart of UK Government. I was also inspired by research into real-life wives of dictators, in particular, Asma al-Assad, the British-born former boarding school girl and banker who appears to be a staunch supporter of her husband and the Syrian regime.

I’m super keen to be represented by X agency for Y reasons

Georgiana

SYNOPSIS

MARIANNE and JULIEN meet as students, fall in love, and vow that one day they’ll rule Britain. After graduation and marriage, Julien becomes and army officer, while Marianne is elected as an MP.

Marianne persuades the strongly republican Lord Chancellor to attempt to abolish the monarchy. In response, Julien leads the Household Cavalry in an attack on Parliament – supposedly in defence of the King, in reality, as the culmination of their plans – and kills most of the Government. The grateful monarch asks Marianne, as the only Government MP still standing, to become Prime Minister. She accepts, and declares martial law.

The “First Lord and Lady” set up a base at Somerset House and consolidate their power. They face protests, and ultimately a bomb attack by a hardcore of protesters, known as the Treaty, which kills five people, including some of Marianne and Julien’s close friends.

Problems only intensify until they are faced with civil war. They argue about whether to launch a bombing campaign against the Treaty-held towns of the north, but Julien overrules his wife.

Marianne disguises herself, then flees to the Treaty stronghold of Nottingham and warns them that a bombing raid is imminent. DAVID, the leader of the Treaty, welcomes her and heeds her warning.

The attacks force the Treaty to flee into the surrounding countryside. Secretly, Marianne is delighted with the tragic outcome. Far from trying to stop the bombing raid, she was the one arguing for it. Once Julien insisted it would be a humanitarian disaster, she realised that the only way to change his mind would be to disappear and convince him that the Treaty had murdered her.

Five years later, air strikes and repression have ground the Treaty down. David decides to send a still incognito Marianne back to Somerset House, to attempt to seduce and kill the First Lord.

An army patrol imprison Marianne as a Treaty member, but Julien rescues her and welcomes her back into the fold. They renew their relationship, and she resumes her position as First Lady.

Months later, PETER, Julien’s Head of Propaganda and best friend, insists to Marianne that he has evidence she was a willing Treaty recruit. Marianne accuses him of trying to usurp Julien’s position.

Venturing out of the confines of Somerset House, Marianne is confronted by David, who knew who she was all along. He gives her an ultimatum: kill Julien as planned, or he will send him footage showing her working for the Treaty and sleeping with him, which is likely to result in her execution.

Marianne takes her gun and heads for Julien’s chamber. Alerted by screams and gunshots, Peter appears and confronts Marianne amidst the carnage of the bloody room.

Peter declares himself First Lord. Before Peter can imprison her, Marianne flees back to David and tells him she has killed Julien. She urges him to strike immediately, in an all-or-nothing mission, while the Government is in disarray. David agrees, and readies the troops to attack three strategic locations.

The first two groups find their targets deserted and die in a bomb blast. The third group storm Somerset House and survive just long enough to kill Peter, as Marianne had hoped.

Marianne reveals to David that Julien is alive after all – she’d admitted what she’d done, begged his forgiveness, and then persuaded him to fake his own death so she could provoke the Treaty into self-destructing. She then shoots David dead in his moment of greatest despair.

With the rebels defeated and their marriage strengthened, Marianne announces that she is pregnant with the Regime’s heir, and she and Julien them plot to extend their rule beyond Britain.