First Person Rules

by Sophie Barlow
6th May 2015

Previously I have been writing in Third Person Omnipresent but I have had a new idea for a book and I want to write it in first person.

I am currently drafting it and testing out some ideas for content and style. I want to write it in first person because I want the story to feel personal and I want a single character to embody the reader and carry them, it's very crucial that that character has an internal dialogue because of the nature of the story.

Thing is, when I read back the first drafted extract it seems too diary-like, to much tell and not enough show. Too much use of 'I' and 'then.' With all the research and googling I have done to try and make my literature flow I just don't seem to be getting there.

I was wondering if any of you have any pointers I could try out? Any tricks that are useful to use when working in first person?

Replies

I'll give it a look. My little sister has a copy of it somewhere. Is it actually good or is it a little childish? (says the author of a book about a leprechaun)

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Sophie
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Sophie Barlow
08/05/2015

I recommend you read the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It's a brilliant book written in the First Person.

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Adrian Sroka
08/05/2015

It really helps! The second draft is reading with a lot more clarity, especially after cleaning up some of the repetition. It was really helpful to be told where I start to tell rather than show; it's crazy to realise how a turn of phrase can change something so much. Some backstory is needed for the second chapter so that will give me a chance to try out the 'Banishment of the I!'

I did like how you refer to the hero as a 'he', I really don't know yet what gender to go with. I am slightly tempted to keep it neutral the whole way through and let the reader decide on what they connect with most.

Thank you once again Lorraine. Your feedback is amazing.

S

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Sophie Barlow
07/05/2015