First Sentence

by Ritesh Nimmagadda
9th December 2013

I've heard a lot of Talk about how your book's First sentence should be great and an amazing hook. And that it should say something interesting, to get the readers attention. But I must admit I feel quite unsure about my own first sentence, which is-

"Albert Flare was having a decent Saturday evening, he'd played on his gaming console to his satisfaction for the day, and now here he was - out in the park to get some pie."

So tell me, about your very own first sentences and how you came upon them. Was it easy? or was it Hard? And if possible please express your views over my sentence. :)

Replies

The age group would be Young Adult mainly.

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Ritesh
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Ritesh Nimmagadda
09/12/2013

Hi Ritesh,

This is my first sentence from the novel I have Publish...

"It's an unmistakable fact of science,' thought Jacob Jones, 'that the more you stare at a clock the longer time lingers.' He had been staring at the classroom clock since the first minute of the final lesson of the day.

This is the book I am working on now...

The goldfish was dead.

That's D E A D

Stiff as a board.

Not even a superhero could bring the goldfish back to life. Isabel had very carefully considered several contenders including.. Superman, wonder woman, Batman, James Bond and even the Queen of England.

This is how I would write yours if it was me.

Fingers throbbing and stomach rumbling, Albert Flare decided he could play his computer no more and headed to the park to get some pie.

It is quite difficult because I don't know the rest of the store and it also depends on the age group. If it's for children or teens I can't see them using the words gaming console or satisfaction.....

360 slammed to the floor, Albert Flare decided hunger over took modern warfare so he headed to the park to get some pie.

Let us know what age group..... this would help.

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damien
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damien Isaak
09/12/2013

First sentence- just type anything based around your character perhaps,

maybe something like this :

Albert closed the lid on his iPad- the game started to bore him- The frost on the window sparkled like diamonds as the sun rays pushed through his dark bedsit-

The idea of eating a hot dog while strolling in the park seemed too enticing to ignore -

Set the scene and give as much info as possible...then it all falls in.

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Denis Taylor
09/12/2013