Help with blurby bit

by Lin Churchill
8th December 2012

Everyone advises that a novel should be summed up in a sentence or paragraph.

Please can you give me your thoughts on these:

1) A pride of souls is the story of past hatred and dominance reaching through time to destroy a young woman’s life. Jack Golding and Miriam Blake must determine who has risen from the past, and why his hatred has resurfaced to devastate her reincarnated soul after eight hundred years.

2) A pride of souls is a tale of outlawed love, submission and a guilt-ridden hatred powerful enough to span eight hundred years. Miriam Blake can break the circle, but can she willingly submit her body and soul to stop the devastation that is about to repeat.

Replies

I prefer the first version to the second, but I agree with Jonathan that you probably don't need to mention the title again.

Maybe something like:

Hatred and dominance reach out across time to devastate a reincarnated soul after eight hundred years. It's Jack Golding and Miriam Blake's job to find out who and why.

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Man of few wrong words, then ;)

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