Here’s the opening chapter of a story...
A man wakes up alone in a room in a doss house in Liverpool. He has no idea who he is and how he got there. He’s completely naked and his whole body has been coated in a mixture of milk chocolate and sultanas. The coating is approximately 2 inches thick. On his head he wears a German Picklehaube, circa 1914. It has an old bullet hole in it. On his chest, embedded in the chocolate, he finds a Second Class Iron Cross with the name, Sgt Ernst Arschlekker, 296th Bavarian artillery regiment. Next to the man is a stuffed alligator made to look like a clown. The room is empty apart from four other objects. There’s a novelty art deco style musical bedpan. The bedpan is good quality porcelain and the marks underneath indicate that it was made in 1927 in Stoke-on-Trent by Claris Cliff. If genuine it’s a one off. Inside the bedpan there’s a red rose and an unused condom. There’s also a train ticket from Harwich, an empty jar of honey and a photograph of an anthill.
Can you explain who the man is and how he got there?
I thought you were supposed to tell us that! :)
Actually I forgot to add the rose and the condom to the list. There are, therefore, SIX extra objects. Any competent horticulturalist will identify the rose as a Red Ruby - a type of rose grown only in the Scotland on the banks of Loch Ness. The condom is a "Chujek" and comes from Poland. It's a cheap and popular brand. They can be obtained from dispensing machines in public toilets throughout the land. Made from a low grade Latex in a factory with a poor record of quality control, Chujek's are about as effective in preventing pregnancies as the withdrawal method is in men with poor memories.