More tinkering and feedback please?

by Clare Williams
10th April 2017

Hi all

I've decided to try rewriting my MS in the third person, just as an experiment, as I can't seem to get my villain's voice just right. And thought third person might help with this??

Anyway I've had a little tinker with the first chapter just to see what reads better - 1st or 3rd (although in the protagonists voice, which I'm fairly happy with).

Would appreciate some feedback for anyone has the time/ inclination.

On a different, but not unrelated note, does the tinkering ever stop? Only joking, I know the answer to that one - unfortunately!

Thanks

Clare

Replies

Thankyou Lorraine :)

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Clare
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Clare Williams
10/04/2017

I've had a look, Clare.

Yes, the tinkering stops, when you're as sure as you can be that you've been true to the characters and the plot and the reader. (No pressure then!)

Lorraine

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Lorraine
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Lorraine Swoboda
10/04/2017

I meant to say, it's in thriller and it's approx 1400 words. Thanks

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Clare
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10/04/2017