My New short story..critiquing please??

by katherine swain
11th February 2013

I have posted another of my stories for you, its above my first work as ive figured you can only post one story at a time... based on an earthquake and survival.... any comments HUGELY APPRECIATED... ;)

Thanks, kat.

Replies

Thanks for that...lots of great comments and constructive feedback!! they will help me to build on future stories :) much appreciated!!

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katherine
swain
330 points
Ready to publish
Short stories
Fiction
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Comic
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Media and Journalism
Business, Management and Education
Speculative Fiction
Adventure
Popular science, Social science, Medical Science
Practical and Self-Help
Romance
katherine swain
12/02/2013

Hello Kat. I read your two posts and I think they are all wonderful. 'Voices from beneath the rubbles' is quite realistic. But 'For what its worth' sounds a bit fanciful to me. The kind of "war" you portrayed there seem too matured for the teenage characters. Also there is nothing in the story to warrant such harsh encounter. Suppose there was a bitter breakup the "war" may seem justified. But all the same I like the humour. Good work Kat. -Baggy.

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Suleiman
Bagirei
270 points
Developing your craft
Suleiman Bagirei
12/02/2013