one night

by Luis Bento
21st February 2012

What do you think about the text?One night

Softly, anchored in the greatness of the word, love came.

"I love you" ...

Graphic, powerful, stripped, giving itself generously like a

promissory note without retirement or protest, to remind them of the

simplicity of things and they rolled, contemplating them so lined up,

challenging them to measure the geography of desire where both were

consumed, not as far as he seemed not as close as they desired by

guessing the manners, the looks, the scents of bodies and the

bittersweet compulsion of sex ...

To hell with the world, the conventions and the time to flee in their

awake! Love was thus a long history of patience to leaf through the

next chapters, with attendance. He, seething, pretending to be simple,

to give himself completely without remorse, a gift, an exchange

without receipt or invoice in joyful living and the hustle and her

trying to catch him in the brief dash strokes in a short sketch where

briefly, the body had spent the night, but the heart stayed a lifetime

...

http://bento-vai-pra-dentro-bento.blogspot.com

Replies

Thank you all. I'll follow the advice and improve the text ...

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Luis
Bento
330 points
Practical publishing
Short stories
Fiction
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Historical
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Luis Bento
22/02/2012

It is one of those passages which demands to be slowed down. This is not a bad thing; on the contrary it is better because of it.

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Christina
Howland
330 points
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Film, Music, Theatre, TV and Radio
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Christina Howland
22/02/2012