prolouge and chapter one - what do you think?

by Daniel Orpeus
22nd June 2013

Imperial Fire: Hadrian's Bane

Prolouge

Portus Namnetum

The morning chill crept through the room like a shadow, Marcus Octavian awoke to the distant heavy chink of metal. Walking to the window he could smell a hint of fire on the cool air.

His father and brother burst into the doorway behind him laden with helmets, armour and swords.

'Marcus!'

'Father, I-' he began

'take this, there is no time. Get your mother to the harbour' his father urged with wide eyes

Marcus took a sword and helmet, he opened his mouth to speak.

'There is no time, do as I say boy!' his father shouted as he turned back into the hall.

'Anthony?' asked Marcus

'its the local tribe, they are attacking. Me and father are going to join aid the militia at the gate, go and -' he was cut short by a loud scream from behind.

'Marcus, jump from the window - go !' cried Anthony, pushing him to the window ledge

'But I - I can -' Marcus stammered

'Go! I will hold them' snapped his brother

With great reluctance Marcus jumped from the ledge, sword in hand. he realised was alight. the metal chinking and clanking rang out all around now. in the street to his right men and women alike were screaming.

'Mother! Mother!' he bellowed 'moth-' an arm grabbed him, he swung around sword raised.It was Anthony - caked in suet and blood

'They are dead Marcus, we must get to the harbour.'

Marcus felt the pain and smoke sting his eyes, tears filled his vision. People were rushing past in all directions. To the right the first of the enemy came into view. Anthony pushed Marcus towards the harbour

'run, I will hold them...'

'Anthony - I can fight, I -' Marcus was cut short by the enveloping smoke catching his breath

'go...run Marcus'

Marcus ran, the smoke thickened and the battle grew louder from the side streets and behind. he looked back - a group of raiders surrounded Anthony, clawing at him, seizing limbs. Marcus turned and carried on running.

chapter one will be posted online soon - if good feedback is provided

thanks for reading

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improved version can be found on shared work.

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Daniel
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Daniel Orpeus
24/06/2013