for anyone who read the first part of chapter one and for the people who originally commented and said it would help to read more I have now posted the second part of chapter one and look forward to an honest frank critique, that is if anyone wants to read it of course.
Regards Paul
Hi again Susan, yes it is for a younger reader, that's mainly the reason I have tended to, for want of a better phrase, overdraw the picture, but maybe you are right and I could take some things out. The first chapter didn't exist until a few months ago. It, as these things tend to do, wrote itself, before that there was only eleven chapters, now thirteen as one of them needed to be split around the same time that the new chapter surfaced. I will take on board what you have pointed out and see where I can change things, which after all is what this is all about. again thank you. Regards Paul.
Thank you Susan, I'll go now and see what you think. Thanks, Paul.
Hi Paul - had a look & commented.