Recently, I was told that I should take out all "she thought" or "she felt" out of a piece of writing, as it brought the reader too much into the character's head. Apparently, one should only ever show what a character is thinking/feeling by their behaviour - as in a film. So I wondered what others might think of this: I realise that one should be careful of too much "telling", but is it possible to take this concept too far? Isn't one of the things that makes reading a different experience to watching a movie, the fact that one CAN get inside the character's head?
Hi Lucy
I'm a newbie writer, trying to learn. I've scoured the internet /read countless books to seek advice. I 've also been was told show don't tell, and heaven forbid the big sin, using adverbs or 'was' or 'is' and only use 'said.'
At first, in a panic I started using word search through my work , removing all the adverbs & so on. In some cases this was good but not always.
And then one day I was re reading one of my favourite books by a very prolific and world famous writer - the pages were littered with adverbs ! Literally several on ONE page. Then I started picking up some of my favourite books and really reading them to see how the author wrote - they all broke the "rules" sometimes, but their work was still amazing.
I realised its really a little of what you fancy does no harm. There's no hard and fast rule. A few adverbs, describing sometimes showing, sometimes telling, sometimes one doesn't just say it, one hollers or screams or whispers and if you don't use the word, and try to describe the process you can ruin the mood... after all its a story not a movie!
Peoples tastes in reading vary too. So while I try to take the advice on board I try not to be too one track about it.
I agree with you totally
Lucy, since you're writing in third-person narrative POV, you can always use "Deep POV" to bring the reader in and out of your characters' heads as necessary. Just don't overuse it is my advice. :)
It's a few years old now, but have a look at this blog post on freelance fiction editor Beth Hill's blog: http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/11/16/deep-pov-whats-so-deep-about-it/
Of course, iIf you Google "Deep POV" you will come up with a lot of relevant pages. I hope this helps.
Hi Lucy,
Sometimes you have to put in 'she thought' - it clarifies something in a simple way. The thing is not to litter your work with it.
'She thought' is like 'she said' - it can be used to differentiate between speakers/thinkers, if used sparingly. If you mean, ' 'Is he as honest as he seems?' she thought.' then no, you shouldn't overuse it. The context may be enough; and you could use italics for thoughts, in a particular situation - though again, without overdoing it.
Is there really that much difference from saying: 'She stared at him, her thoughts in a whirl. Could he be as honest as he seemed?' or, 'He couldn't be as honest as he seemed, she thought.' Well, yes, there is; both introduce the thought process, but the latter seems clunky and far less revealing than the former. How about, 'She thought he couldn't be as honest as he seemed.' That gives a different slant on the matter. She becomes far more direct. It's the placing of 'she thought' that changed it.
'She felt' is a little different, because feelings can be conveyed in so many ways. With a grimace, a laugh, a sob - whatever the emotion requires. It's also used in place of 'thought'; 'She felt he couldn't be as honest as he seemed' - it's less certain than 'thought'. 'She laughed at the idea that he could possibly be as honest as he seemed.' No thought mentioned, but you know that this is taking place in her mind, and how the idea affects her.
In film a few seconds of a close-up is enough to show what you may spend a page or two saying in a book. The actor doesn't telegraph the thought process; it's simultaneous with what you see on screen. In writing you don't have that luxury. What you don't want to do is instruct the reader. Like any other form of repetition, it detracts.
If in doubt, read your work aloud. You hear better than you see what's wrong with a piece, or how overused a phrase is.