Thank you to all who read commented and made suggestions about my agents submission letter. I have taken the comments seriously and done some work, if anyone gets the chance please take a look and let me know where it falls down. I have put the same letter on twice but the second minus one para. I think maybe that is the better one but you will know which is worse! thanks in advance Paul G.
Hi Paul, my comments are under your work. Best of luck.
One thing I think you should maybe consider is how you say '11 to 14 year old readers'. MG is 8-12 and YA is 13+.
I believe yours - seeing as it is 100k words - should be a YA. I think you should clearly define that in your cover letter, otherwise an agent might look at the first sentence and think (maybe wrongly) 'this guy doesn't know who he's aiming his book at'.
Like Lorraine has said previously, the sentence would read so much better as 'I am writing to seek representation for “IN THE ABSENCE OF TIME”, a Young Adult fantasy adventure of 100,000 words.'
Just something to think about :)
~Ellen