Can I have your opinions on how to end this chapter please?
1. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the fingers on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand."
OR
2. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the finger on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand. As the doctor would later put it "That was that for Claudia Solus,"
I like the first one.
I prefer the 1st for the way it hangs there, and its melancholy, and I agree with Jonathan that her chest no longer moved is sharper, and do lose the repetition of hand.
I agree with Jonathan about no longer moved is cleaner, sharper, than no longer moving and avoid the repetition of hand. But I prefer the 1st ending, for the way it hangs in the air and its melancholy.