Looking

Chapter 1 The smears had created a distorted face. Cleaning it wasn’t easy but he carried on wiping and polishing, until he could almost see his reflection. Looking from one side to the other, he tensed and pursed his face. Cheekbones; high and sharp, eyes; hazel and large. He moved down to his lips; thick and luscious, maybe slightly too big for his face, much like his nose, which was definitely his mothers. His hair hung over his forehead in boundless curls that had a life of their own. He gasped as a sudden ray of sun slid over the mirror and seemed to illuminate two pointy things on his head. He ran his hands through his hair and looked again to see nothing was there. He breathed deeply and carried on polishing. The elderly lady who he worked for called up the stairs, “Jasper! It’s just gone 4.30, you can finish up and come down now dear.” She always got his name wrong, he had been here over two months now and she still called him Jasper. He slung his coat over his arm and looked back at the mirror before hurtling down the stairs. “Jasper before you go dearie, please can you put these up on the top shelf, I can’t reach even with the steps, my back isn’t what it used to be.” She handed him an ornate marble chess set with unusual pieces. The weight of the board with the arranged chess pieces was heavier than it looked. “I set them out as it appears on the box,” she explained but the red pieces seemed like they fitted better together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an strange chess set.” He placed it carefully so as not to topple the figures and almost fell off the steps as he glimpsed at his reflection in the window opposite the shelf. Instead of his bright hazel eyes, dark reddish whorls stared back at him. He blinked hard and rubbed his eyes. He made a whooshing sound as he spun round to face Gerty, the elderly lady. “Bless you Jasper, you will make someone really happy, such a kind boy,” She patted his arm and placed a small brown bag in his hands as she opened the shop door. They shared a smile as he walked out into the gathering darkness. The air was foggy and the scent of fallen leaves was overwhelmingly rotten. It was a a mix of decay and mold. He pulled his coat around him and breathed deeply. Golden hued leaves mixed with browns, oranges and burnt yellows’ danced a cyclonic dance. Thinking of the strange sight in the shop window, he hurried on. A lady with a small black dog was approaching. Eventually, as they came closer the dog suddenly stopped trotting along and stood quite still making a low growling sound. He was staring right at the boy. The lady who was walking him had on a heavy fawn-coloured fur coat and a scent of musk mixed with autumn spice floated towards him. The dog made a high pitched whining sound and turned to try to go the other way. The lady tugged at his lead. As they came along side him the small dog began yelping and jumping. “Pippy no, stop, stop!” she was almost shouting, “I’m so sorry he’s never ever like this around people” she looked up at the boy and her eyes seemed to widen in mock horror. As he turned the corner from them and got closer to his house, he noticed he was almost running so he slowed to catch his breath. He knew anything out of place, anything out of the ordinary could upset mother. And he did not want to upset mother. He stood under the last lamppost before the row of houses that led up to no.11, he took out his miniature folding mirror; no mirrors were allowed in the house and this had been a gift from Beatrice. His only friend. It was inscribed with his name. Rufus. After examining his eyes closely, he moved towards his forehead. He ran his hand over the eyebrow area, he hated his eyebrows being touched, he then slid his fingers closer to the hairline. Nothing. He peered closely into the small circle of mirror and almost dropped it. Quickly he pushed his fringe back and saw two little protrusions bulging, one on each side of his hairline. They looked like identical twin spots. He realised he was breathing heavily and felt clammy and sweaty. He let his fringe drop back over his forehead and began quickly walking up the hill towards the house. Buttery toast, crispy bacon and eggs perched in eggcups, all sat waiting on the dining table. Rufus knew breakfast for dinner was traditional on Fridays at the house and besides it all smelt wonderful. He breathed in deeply and remembered the old house, the one before this one. He had spent most of his early childhood there and the garden was forever etched in his mind, it’s overgrown grass, high redbrick walls and open space that cushioned him from dark outer tentacles that always seemed to be reaching for him. The grandfather clocked chimed on time as mother came into the room with fresh orange juice and warm plates. “Rufus, my darling do sit down, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” She placed the plates at either end of the extended table and rushed over to him. She held his wrist to check his pulse beat and frowned. “Why so jumpy, what have you been doing?” She made to put her hand on his forehead and he quickly recoiled. “Mother, it’s nothing, I’m fine, I just rushed up the hill is all,” He pulled out his chair and sat down. “I’ve asked you to call me mama”, she took her seat opposite him. Pouring a glass of orange juice, he gulped it down, and began crunching toast, butter slid onto his shirt unnoticed as he leant over to grab the dish of bacon. “Mama, did Beatrice bring the books back while I was out, I really need them back for my studies?” He had been home schooled now for almost a year, since the incident. “That girl hasn’t been here since last week, and I’ve told you to stop lending her your books!” a flurry of redness appeared in her cheeks as her voice rose, “finish up and you can collect your books before dusk.” She glanced in his direction as he patted his pocket where the mirror was concealed. “What is that? What are you hiding?” He pulled out the brown package Gerty had given him. “Just my payment for the week mama,” he placed it on the table. “O, how is dear Gertrude? It’s a wonder that shop is still open, she is almost an antique herself” She chuckled as she sipped her coffee. “I am so happy that you’re settling in there my dear Rufus. A busy mind is less likely to worry about silly things.” Rufus yawned loudly. He knew this always got him out of doing the dishes. “Thank you mama for getting me the job, I’m learning so much.” He shifted in his chair and rose up, blowing a kiss over to his mother as he bounded up the stairs. She called after him, “I’ll be half an hour and then we can go pick up your books!” He flopped on his bed and looked up out of the skylight. A fat silvery moon glimpsed back at him. Dark shadows danced on the moon and created a cavernous mouth that seemed to scream. He closed his eyes and traced the mirror. A dull ache in his forehead made him sit up. He ran his fingers over the bumps. The pain echoed throughout his eyes. Sharper. The sly moon was hidden behind wispy clouds which were billowing and dispersing frantically. Opposite his bed he noticed the place where the picture had once been, it yawned back emptily. He opened the compact to examine his face, the moon glow enhanced his hazel eyes making them appear like golden orbs. His nose looked larger but his cheekbones and lips completed his illusion of perfection. The pain between his eyes suddenly became intense making him jump from the bed. Pacing the room he passed the window that overlooked the garden. He could see Aloysius his cat. He was furiously digging in the rose bushes. Rufus tapped on the window but the cat didn’t look up. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Rubyroo propped up on the bookshelf, he remembered when his grampy had found him in an old charity shop. He picked the bunny up and held him close. He breathed deeply. The sound of mothers voice shouting up the stairs, he plopped the rabbit on the bed and slid the mirror back into his pocket. As they walked, a bell tolled in the distance, signaling evening prayer. Rufus pulled his coat around himself and looked in the direction of the church. “How long will you be at their house?” Mother nodded in the direction of Beatrice’s, which was a few minutes past the church. “I do really wish you would find a more suitable friend” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just picking up my books so no time at all and we’ve known each other for years mama, she’s my only friend.” He marched on leaving his mother scuttling after him. Outside the church a small group of worshipers was gathered, they were all pointing and looking upwards towards the bell tower. As Rufus and mother neared the gathering, he felt the pain behind his eyes flare up. A throbbing ache made him push his fingers down on the sides of his head. Someone from the gathering screamed. Something landed on the floor with a heavy thud. It moved a little and then stopped. Rufus stared at what appeared to be the little black dog he had seen earlier. The screeching felt like it wallowed from within him and was somehow also emanating out of the lady with the fawn-coloured coat, who was running towards the gathering. He covered his head with his hands and turned. “Come on darling let’s get out of here,” his mother held his arm tightly, “you look white as a sheet.” They began walking away as the crowd grew larger around the small black dog. As they neared Beatrice’s house, Rufus quickened his steps leaving mother standing at the grassy verge as he carried on to knock at the door. Moments later it was opened by Beatrice, cheeks flushed and hair down. Her dark eyes gazed at him. “Rufus!” she smiled, with dimples that also smiled back. She nodded in the direction of mother. “I see the keeper is close!” she laughed and almost dragged him in. “And to what do I owe this pleasure?”