how do I show more and not tell.....

Hi Katherine

I had the same feedback recently and have posted links to a couple of books / documents which I have since found to be very useful.

Have a look at www.anapirana.com in the "show and tell" post.

Hope this helps

If a character is angry, have them 'Show Don't Tell' by their actions.

(Example A, is bad )

John was angry after reading the letter. He asked his secretary if she had read a copy of the letter. She felt uncomfortable by his demand to know.

(Example B, is, 'Show Don't Tell')

John's anger boiled within him. His face reddened as he read the letter. 'Have you seen this,' he raged, waving his copy in the face of his agitated secretary. 'Well have you?' he demanded. His piercing stare alarmed her.

A few tips on 'Show Don't Tell'.

Do not narrate when you can: define your characters by their actions, and by what they think and say about their surroundings and each other.

Get your characters’ to descrbe their surroundings, by what they see, hear, touch, taste, and smell.

Have your characters talk to each other.

Use streams-of-thought for private, or highly individual experiences. To let people know their inner world; perhaps reveal things that would not be revealed in any other way.

I hope that helps.

Good luck.