To much of "Suddenly" !

by Mehdi Kasbel
24th August 2013

I hope the title is clear.

It's a problem I encounter everytime I'm writing a horror story or a short story where some suspense is needed.

I find myself using too much of "suddenly", "all of at once", "unexpectedly", at places where they all seem necessary.

So I don't know what's the solution. Rather than keep on using more synonyms or to learn to decrease the occurences of

Replies

Elmore Leonard's Sixth Rule is: "Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose". This rule doesn't require an explanation. I have noticed that writers who use "suddenly" tend to exercise less control in the application of exclamation points."

Whether you agree with him or not, it's definitely good to limit their use as much as you can - instead, explain things, give other indicators of surprise - noises, reactions, broken sentences, interruptions, etc. I think readers can be expected to understand what's going on

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Simon P.
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Simon P. Clark
24/08/2013

Well, you could describe the sound with one word. Bang, drag, hiss etc etc. Small short sentences work well to heighten anticipation

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M.K. Rasmussen
24/08/2013

I would say it becomes a little tedious for the reader. I edit a website or a travel writer friend of mine and one of the problems with his writing is 'The following morning' or 'The next day'. Sometimes it doesn't need to be said. Mostly their superfluous and in your case could be replaced with the odd 'without warning' but keep them limited and don't always start the sentence with them. The immediacy could sometimes be replaced by reaction to the event.

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Renee Paule
24/08/2013