Rejection...

by Catherine Quinn
28th July 2013

I recently received a rejection letter from a submission I had made. The critic explained that they thought the story was suspenseful but that I have the tendency to tell rather than show. I'm not really sure what this means, does anyone have any advice on showing rather than telling? Thanks in advance.

Replies

Hi Jonathan,

Using Shirley's excellent advice imagine the scene as a film and describe it. For example:

Elsie's face froze, lit by the headlights. The zimmer flew to the right. Elsie flew to the left.

"aargh." Her wig hit the tarmac, "Fuckin lunatic."

On this occasion it is obvious to the reader who screamed using action and dialogue

hope this helps

Bry

Profile picture for user bryo-pod_28489
bryan
pearson
270 points
Developing your craft
bryan pearson
29/07/2013

Hi Dor,

I may be wrong, but rather than infringing copyright, I presumed I was championing Shirley's advice. Advice that is freely available on the internet. It was the first website that came up for me in a word search a year or so ago when I typed in "SHOW NOT TELL" (try it)

It is the opening page of a website that offers other services - presumably at a cost. A great advertisement I'm sure you will agree.

happy writing

regards

Bry

Profile picture for user bryo-pod_28489
bryan
pearson
270 points
Developing your craft
bryan pearson
29/07/2013

Thank you all for your comments, all very useful,

Profile picture for user cathyqui_23399
Catherine
Quinn
270 points
Ready to publish
Short stories
Fiction
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Comic
Speculative Fiction
Gothic and Horror
Romance
Catherine Quinn
29/07/2013