Show, Don't Tell....

by Lucy Bignall
27th August 2014

Recently, I was told that I should take out all "she thought" or "she felt" out of a piece of writing, as it brought the reader too much into the character's head. Apparently, one should only ever show what a character is thinking/feeling by their behaviour - as in a film. So I wondered what others might think of this: I realise that one should be careful of too much "telling", but is it possible to take this concept too far? Isn't one of the things that makes reading a different experience to watching a movie, the fact that one CAN get inside the character's head?

Replies

Bit late to this post, but an issue I have in my work. There are many occasions where characters can't voice their opinions, therefore are thinking not saying, fairly often.

As mentioned above, a good mix of he/she/they thought, stood still as if in thought, squinted / when to speak but paused... thinking, etc are all good ways.

Right, off to read http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/11/16/deep-pov-whats-so-deep-about-it/

Thanks all!

Mark.

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Mark
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Mark Diez
02/09/2014

I agree with Lorraine. Any phrase that is used too frequently quickly becomes fingernails on the chalkboard of the readers mind. There is always an alternative way to say things, and as has already been mentioned in this thread, each has a different impact on the reader.

In my humble work, I like to describe body language much more than use dialog to convey the scene. I feel that it creates a more common bond between reader and character. Not every person uses the same words to convey meanings, but a raised eyebrow, a sneer, or a sadistic chuckle...are pretty much universal.

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Timothy
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Timothy Kaplan
28/08/2014

Hi LB.

I agree with much of the advice above, in particular Lorraine's.

The big difference is that if you are writing a script, you cannot put any 'show' as you would in a novel. You have to 'tell' that a character looks surprised or moved to the front door or even that they close their eyes and screw up their fists in anger.

If you can replace any piece of 'tell' with some 'show', without it being awkward, then do so. It's just a habit to get into, along with many others.

And don't forget, you never start a sentence with the word 'and'.

Oops!

Best of luck and keep on doing.

PabloJ.

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Paul
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