I am writing a fantasy book, not one for children. however, at times I find myself lost as what to write next. what are peoples general feeling on these kinds of books? here is a snippet of text, comments please.
“You may now dine with your ancestors” the man continued to laugh in Lord Kishar’s face which was ended with the loud snap of the man’s neck.
I wouldn't follow that with the person allowed to dine engaging in conversation for several paragraphs...
More seriously...
When I suddenly come to a stop I do one of two things.
1. If the work is going where I want it to and feels reasonable I may (after a quick check) insert an interruption. This can be almost anything within a very broad context: but not outlandish. I then come back on track later.
2. I go and do something else, like making yet another cup of tea. I think that it's amazing how often this lets the brain sort things out.
Although it isn't going to happen after one sentence sometimes grinding to a halt is an indication that I have gone on too long. (Not that I ever do that!) :-O
If I really get stuck I tend to leave the work and move to something else for a while. When the brain stops working directly on the issue it usually comes up with an explanation of why I have jammed up. Frequently the reason is that I am trying to get too much in in too little space. I need to go back, sometimes add tiny pieces in and re-structure the whole section.
For example. If I have a fight scene and my combatants can't get on with the fight because I have to interupt with a description of furniture in their way - then I need to go back and provide the information (at least the minimum) about the furniture at an earlier point in the structure.
I hope this helps.
David
Sorry to short for me to say. I would write what you want to write.
Sounds like his face was ended. Pretty sure that isn't what you mean. There are many ways to structure a sentence and often they only come together with careful editing.
"Now may you dine with your ancestors."
Long after the life had drained from it the man continued to laugh in Lord Kishar's face, his head held up not by any proud defiance but by the hand that broke his neck.