I am writing a fantasy book, not one for children. however, at times I find myself lost as what to write next. what are peoples general feeling on these kinds of books? here is a snippet of text, comments please.
“You may now dine with your ancestors” the man continued to laugh in Lord Kishar’s face which was ended with the loud snap of the man’s neck.
I think you need to rephrase that passage. It is a bit unclear and it might also improve if you add some punctuation. But I'm sure you are aware that nobody can judge the quality of your work by reading only this little passage. I wish you good luck with your work (and inspiration)! I loved reading fantasy as a child and I'm still attached to some books of this kind.