Here's a question for English pedants (like me!).
"(He) turned towards Elinor with what he hoped a winning smile..."
"(He) turned towards Elinor with what he hoped was a winning smile..."
This is Napoleonic period military fiction. I wrote the first: editor thinks the second. Bearing in mind modern readers' sensibilities, what do you think - 'not was' (active but needs more effort) or 'was' (passive but easy to read)?
I know what you mean. The 'was' does make it easy reading but there is something quite svelte and clean about it without. Still, it's all about the readers and most of those who've posted comments here would like the 'was'. Either way, don't add commas.
Hi Jon.
I do not know what precedes that line of text. Why he turned, or how close he is to Elinor.
Howabout,
He smiled warmly at Elinor. In the hope that she would succumb to his charm.
I hope that helps.
I would use the was as well for ease of reading.
In the first sentence, for me to make sense of it, my brain added commas, such:
"(He) turned towards Elinor with, what he hoped, a winning smile."