'Was' or 'Not Was'

by Jonathan Hopkins
21st November 2012

Here's a question for English pedants (like me!).

"(He) turned towards Elinor with what he hoped a winning smile..."

"(He) turned towards Elinor with what he hoped was a winning smile..."

This is Napoleonic period military fiction. I wrote the first: editor thinks the second. Bearing in mind modern readers' sensibilities, what do you think - 'not was' (active but needs more effort) or 'was' (passive but easy to read)?

Replies

For sure adding the 'was' will make it an easier read.

The first one reads as if there should be a comma somewhere to clarify, but don't ask me where, because I'm useless at grammar.

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Lin
Churchill
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Lin Churchill
21/11/2012